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30th Sunday in Ordinary Time (B) - “Call Him”.

The readings for this Sunday help us to understand how the Lord reveals to us our vocation.  The word repeated throughout this Gospel passage of Jesus’ encounter with the blind man, Bartimaeus, is “call”.   Bartimaeus is on the side of the road begging, and when he hears that Jesus is near, he calls out or cries out to Jesus.  When he experiences resistance from the crowd, telling him to be silent, he called out all the more.  Jesus stopped and said to those who were following him, “Call him”.   They called the the blind man, saying, “Jesus is calling you.”  Bartimaeus discovers his path of discipleship when the cry of his heart is answered by the call of Jesus.  Bartimaeus is calling out to God, and he is calling out for mercy.  “Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.”  Mercy is being loved or wanted in our weakness or helplessness.  We call out for mercy when we are aware that we cannot save ourselves.  The cry for mercy in our heart is in fact a sign that God is calling us.  He calls us through the deepest desire of our heart.  Jesus tells his followers not to rebuke, ignore, or silence someone who is crying out, but to facilitate his encounter with him - to verify that his cry has an answer.  There is a meaning to the desire in his heart.  “Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you.”  Like Bartimaeus, we too need not silence or ignore the cry of our heart but continue to seek an answer when the society or culture says that it is not worth trying.  What happens when we discover that there is an answer to the deep need of our heart?  Here is where we have the choice to stay where we are at or to follow the one who has answered the call.  Bartimaeus, when he discovers that he is in fact wanted and loved by God, throws aside his cloak, springs up, and comes to Jesus.  For the beggar on the side of the road, his cloak was his most valuable, if not his only possession.  He casts it aside and leaves it behind to follow Jesus.  This is in direct contrast to the Rich Young Man who also recognized Jesus as the answer to his desire but didn’t have the courage to leave behind his possessions.  The cloak represents his former life.  Casting it aside, Bartimaeus is making an act of trust and confidence that Jesus is not joking with him or deceiving him.  Casting aside his cloak is an act of faith.  “Springing up” or rising up is a sign of the new life  - the hope that is in him.  All this happens before his physical healing takes place.  The fact that he has discovered the meaning of and the answer to his cry gives him the courage to ask for what he wants.  Jesus in fact invites him to name what it is he wants.  “What do you want me to do for you?”  “Master, I want to see.”  Pope Benedict wrote in his first encyclical, “God is Love”, “Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”  This is exactly what happened to Bartimaeus when he encounters Jesus.  This is what he is asking for.  Faith allows us to see - not a detailed path - but the presence of Jesus, and the “decisive direction” is following the person of Jesus.  He is “the way.”  The first thing Bartimaeus would have seen when he received his sight was the face of Jesus.  He doesn’t go his own way, but his way becomes the way of Jesus.  “Immediately he received his sight and followed him on the way.”  He follows because he doesn’t want to lose sight of the face of Jesus. 

          In many ways, what happened to Bartimaeus describes my vocational experience.  A few years after college, after working as a paralegal made it clear to me that I didn’t want to pursue a career as a lawyer and several years working in political public relations after that left me disillusioned regarding a career in politics, I was in the dark regarding the direction of my life.  I was perhaps naive and idealistic as a youth thinking money and power were the keys to happiness or at least the tools for doing good in the world.  I had a taste of both and neither did they make me happy nor fulfill those I worked with who had much more power and money than I did.  When I looked at the people around me, I can’t say that I wanted to be like them.  I believe I began to pursue those paths with noble intentions, but it didn’t take long to realize that what I thought I wanted to do in my life didn’t correspond to the needs of my heart.  I remember lying awake one night at a fancy hotel after a big dinner with one of the partners at the law firm.   We were celebrating a “job well done”.  I remember thinking to myself, “There has to be more to life than this!”  It was a cry of the heart.  Politics didn’t prove any more satisfying.  One goes into it with the idea that it is about serving the common good or working for a cause that is right and just, but you really ended up working for the client that could advance your career or who would pay the most for your services.  Style won over substance and who you know was more important that what you know.  I remember colleagues saying things they knew were not true or couldn’t possibly know were true just to get a client a booking on a TV or radio show.  I couldn’t do it.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me.  My heart was crying out for more when everyone else around me had either rebuked the voice of the ideal or just kept silent about it.  When I finally had to leave my job, I was like the blind man on the side of the road begging.  My heart cried out all the more.  But I was trying to solve the problem myself with career research, counseling, and self-help psychology.  It was at this time of crisis - an awareness that I was at a loss to how to “fix” this problem,  that I began to pray more, go to Mass more, and to listen to the word of God more attentively.  Seeing myself through the eyes of the world, I thought that I had little to offer.  I wasn’t praying for God to fix my problem or to get me a job but to help me to see what he wanted me to do with my life.  Through this prayer of begging, Christ revealed his face to me and called me to the priesthood.  I knew it was the Lord who was calling me but becoming a priest seemed so crazy.  It is not something that I ever thought I would want to do.  What gave me the courage to accept the call and to enter the seminary - what gave me the certainty to know that this “call” was not just an idea that I had made up - was that many random people who didn’t even know that I was discerning the priesthood said to me at this time, “Have you ever thought about becoming a priest?”  I was a bit freaked out the first few times that happened.  But I soon realized when this happened, it was Jesus telling his followers, “Call him.”  Equally surprising, when I revealed with some trepidation to friends and family that I was considering entering the seminary, the majority of my friends and family, even the non-Catholic ones, were not put off by the revelation but said to me, “I can see you as a priest” or “That’s great.  I think you will make a good priest.”  They could see the vocation in me before I could see it or admit seeing it in myself.      I needed them to “call me” for me to verify that what I discerned in my heart was true.  When I realized that I was being called by God, it was not hard at all to leave my old life behind.  Did I know at that point when I entered the seminary that I would be ordained a priest?  Not at all, but I knew that I had to follow Jesus.  Those around me could see the new life in me, and the change that I saw in myself that did not come from myself was a concrete sign as well that Christ was present in my life.  The encounter with Jesus gave my life a new horizon and a decisive direction.  The meaning and purpose of my life became very clear.  I was saved from the illusion that wealth, power, and prestige were the keys to happiness, and I wanted to stay with the one who opened my eyes.

          God has not stopped calling men to the priesthood and women to consecrated life.  Listen to the longing in your heart.  That is where he calls you.  The world offers money, wealth, prestige and pleasure, but what we really want is mercy - to be loved in our weakness and sinfulness.  Money and pleasure, fame and power, cannot give us love.  They cannot free us from our weakness and sinfulness.  Only love can - God’s love for us.  And he calls us through other people.  So don’t be afraid to say something when Jesus stops you and says, “Call him” or “Call her”.  If you think the Lord may be calling you to a priestly or religious vocation, take the call seriously.  When you come to Jesus and express your desire, the Lord will do great things for you, and you will be filled with joy.