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17th Sunday in Ordinary Time (C) - “Lord, teach us to pray…”

I grew up in a home of faithful, practicing Catholics.  As a family, we went to Mass every Sunday.  I went to CCD in preparation to receive the sacraments.  We said grace before meals.  We had a little bed-time routine that including “saying our prayers” before going to sleep.  But it wasn’t until I got to the seminary that I learned what prayer was and how to pray.  At the seminary, I was introduced to certain methods of prayer like Lectio Divina, the ancient method which monks use to pray with the Scriptures, but learning to pray was really not about learning a method or a technique but learning what prayer really is.  Prayer is raising one’s mind and heart to God.  It is through prayer that we enter into a personal, intimate relationship with God.  And it is only by understanding what prayer is, that we can properly know how to pray and what is most important when it comes to prayer.  By all accounts, the disciples were for the most part, faithful, practicing Jews.  They would have learned their prayers as children, studied the scriptures, and had a regular routine of going to synagogue and praying in the home, yet they ask Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray…”  This question is asked because they saw Jesus praying.  Jesus was a faithful Jew and did and knew all the prayers that any Jew would know, but the disciples could see in him that for Jesus, prayer was also much more than what they knew.  The disciples saw Jesus not only fulfill all the prayers prescribed by the law, but they saw him regularly go away by himself to a quiet place to pray.  They saw him pray also not just routinely but also when he had to make important decisions.  It was clear that prayer for Jesus was not just about fulfilling the law - fulfilling an obligation - but being in communion with God his Father - knowing God and God’s will for him.  The disciple may ask the question about prayer in terms of method, but Jesus teaches them that prayer is not primarily about a method but about a person. “When you pray, say: Father…”  We often grow up thinking prayer is about getting what we want from God or getting clear information or instructions from God - as if that is our reward for being faithful to our prayers, but Jesus teaches that we pray to stay in relationship with God - to know him and his love for us.  What makes prayer fruitful is not technique but simply doing it and being persistent or faithful to prayer.  That is because the fruit of prayer is not a result of our effort but of God’s grace or gift.  In the little parable of the man asking his friend for bread, Jesus teaches that it is not because the friend is a “friend” that he will get the loaves (you can’t presume on the friendship - i.e., “he owes me because we are friends”) but he will get whatever he needs “because of his persistence.”  Persistence is the most important factor in prayer because only by staying in relationship with God regardless of the “results” will we be open to not what we want, but whatever we need.  And Jesus promises that what the Father will give us is not going to be bad.  In fact, what he wants to give us is the supreme good.  For those who ask, the Father wants to give us the Holy Spirit.  Here’s the purpose of prayer: it is not to get stuff but to receive the life and the love of God - to enter into an unbreakable bond of love between the Father and the Son.  Is that what we ask for in prayer?  If we find ourselves frustrated in prayer - “that our prayers are not being answered”, maybe we are asking for the wrong thing.  Instead of asking that things turn out the way we want, why not ask instead, “Lord, help me to know you, to see you, and to love you here in this situation.”  Jesus says, “ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”  He doesn’t say, “ask and you will get what you want; seek and you will find what you are looking for…”  Prayer is about being receptive to what God wants to give us.  Prayer is about finding God and opening our heart to God.  We must note too that Jesus says, “For everyone who asks, receives…”  Prayer is not for the spiritual elite but is for everyone.  God wants to have a personal relationship with everyone, but he will not force himself on us or force us into a relationship.  We have to seek it and want it.  We can’t sit idly by and think it will happen.  We have to be active in the process.  In case we get the wrong impression by the story of Abraham and the parable about persistence in prayer, it is not our persistence that wears God out or forces him to give us what we want.  God is God.  He cannot be worn out.  He cannot be bothered by our prayer.  Unlike the friend who is already in bed, the Lord is never inconvenienced by our prayer.  The persistence of Abraham in his prayer with the Lord does not move God to be more merciful; rather, Abraham’s persistence allows Abraham to discover the depths of the Lord’s mercy.  But in the end, Abraham does not get what he was asking for.  He was asking that Sodom and Gomorrah be spared for the sake of the innocent.  He wanted his nephew Lot saved.  Lot is saved while Sodom and Gomorrah are destroyed.  God answers his prayer but not in the way that Abraham envisioned.  The reason for the prayer was for Abraham to know the will of God and to draw nearer to him. 

          One of my favorite contemporary spiritual writers is Fr. Jacques Philippe.  He writes little books on the spiritual life that are very accessible.  I would highly recommend anything that he writes.  In his book, “Time for God,” Fr. Jacques Philippe says this on the theme of perseverance or persistence in prayer:  “What matters is not whether our prayer is beautiful, or whether it works, or whether it is enriched by deep thoughts and feelings, but whether it is persevering and faithful.  Our first concern … should be faithfulness in praying, not the quality of our prayer.  The quality will come from fidelity.  Time spent faithfully every day in mental prayer that is poor, arid, distracted, and relatively short is worth more, and will be infinitely more fruitful for our progress, than long, ardent spells of mental prayer from time to time, when circumstances make it easy.    …. “prayer that is of poor quality but regular and faithful, is worth more than prayer that is sublime but only now and then.  It is faithfulness alone that enables the life of prayer to bear wonderful fruit.”  “Prayer,” says Fr. Jacques Philippe, “is basically no more than an exercise in loving God.  But there is no true love without fidelity.”   When we understand prayer as relationship, the primacy of daily faithfulness and persistence makes sense.  What kind of father would be better for the family?  The father who is home for dinner every night, spends a few minutes hearing what the kids learned in school, and tucking the kids into bed each night or the father who is always working and travelling all the time but can afford the big vacation and amazing family get-aways each year.   We would benefit much more from the father who was “always there” and did the simple, basic things consistently than the father who was not regularly present but gave you a big gift now and then.  We can say the same thing about prayer as we do for running or working out.  We are not going to see much benefit or progress if we just work out once a week or whenever it is convenient or only if I can get a “good workout in”.  We see the benefits and progress only if we are consistent in our work-out routine regardless of whether I’m giving it my “best effort”.  A poor workout is better than no work-out at all.  Better to go for a short walk than no walk because I don’t have the time for the 45 minute run.  A Rosary poorly said is better than not praying it at all.  The seminary taught me to pray not so much by teaching methods but by forming in us good habits of prayer and making prayer a priority in our lives.  Find a prayer routine that works for you and be faithful to it.  Don’t worry about technique or method; just consistently rest at the feet of Jesus as Mary did and listen to his words.  And talk to Him.  This weekend, coinciding with the Feast Day of Saints Anne and Joachim, the parents of the Virgin Mary and the grandparents of Jesus, the Church celebrates the “World Day for Grandparents and Elderly”.  It is important that we recognize the blessings of the elderly within the community of faith and the important role grandparents have in passing the faith on to the younger generation.  I know many grandparents who are concerned that their children and grandchildren are not practicing the faith.  They ask, “what can I do?  What should I say?”  Perhaps the best thing to do is for your grandchildren to see you pray.  When they are at your house, pray a prayer of thanksgiving before meals.  Pray with them if you put them to bed.  Take them to church with you.  Let them see that your relationship with God is something that takes priority in simple ways.  Let them see that your prayer life and relationship with the Church is something that gives you life and is not just an obligation.  Then they might just ask, “Grandmom, teach me to pray.”