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20th Sunday in Ordinary Time (A)  - Neither legalistic or liberal - how to “welcome” someone into the Church.
 

“Father, you would have more people in the pews if the church was more loose when it came to some of its teachings.  The church needs to be more in touch with the times - be more “welcoming”.  I wonder what contemporary critics of the church today - those pushing for radical changes to church teaching in the area of sexual morality - would say about Jesus and the way he responds to the Canaanite woman who comes to him seeking healing for her daughter.  She is obviously a woman who is suffering.  Jesus doesn’t sound very “welcoming” to this woman who doesn’t belong to the chosen people of Israel.  She is a foreigner - a pagan - a gentile.  She is living outside the law that defined who was “saved”.  The episode with the Canaanite woman provides a template for how to respond pastorally to those who approach the church who are in an “irregular” situation, e.g., married outside of the church or those who have inquired about becoming Catholic or those Catholics who are away from the church who ask about receiving the sacraments.  Really, anyone who is on the “margins” of the Church.  They approach the church expressing a need.  They want something.  Is the church simply a dispenser of spiritual goods and the officiant of certain rites?  Or is the church a place of encounter with Christ?  A place where someone can meet the Lord and grow in a relationship with him, i.e., come to faith and grow in faith and be called to conversion?  Conversion happens not through simply giving someone the law but through a relationship.  The way Jesus responds to the woman brings to light whether she is simply out to get something “fixed” or if is she interested in a relationship with him, i.e., belonging to him.  There is a method to Jesus’ response.  Neither sending her away - as the disciples ask the Lord - nor giving her what she wants right away - leads to relationship.  The response of the disciples to the woman can be interpreted either way: 1) Lord, just grant her request so she stops bothering us or 2) She doesn’t belong to us - she’s not one of us, so just send her away.  Why should we have to deal with her?   These two approaches characterize a liberal versus a conservative or legalistic approach to pastoral ministry.  The liberal approach is to ignore the irregularity in the situation or to say that it doesn’t matter - you are fine as you are.  No need to mention the law or call the person to conversion.  Or we could change the law so the irregularity is no longer a sin - (“sin” is such a harsh and unwelcoming word.)  The conservative or legalistic approach on the other hand says, “This is the law.  Sorry, I can’t help you until you get your act together.  When you are able to get your life in order, come back and then we’ll talk about what you want.”  One of my classmates shared with me an example of this pastoral mindset.  This was twenty years ago, when we were newly ordained.  His pastor published on the front of the bulletin under the sacrament of marriage: “Couples must not be cohabitating in order to be married at St. John’s.”  What was the message that was sent?  Although cohabitating prior to marriage is a grave sin - a constant teaching of the church, publishing that statement in the bulletin made clear that any cohabitating couples were not welcome and should not even call the rectory for an appointment about marriage.  The pastor in one sentence basically eliminated having to have a difficult conversation with probably 70 percent or more of the couples who come to get married in the church.  The couples would either self-select out of going to that parish for marriage or lie about their situation to get what they wanted.  Either way, there is no call to conversion and no opportunity for a relationship with someone “outside” of the regular practice of the faith.  Essentially, the legalistic approach and the liberal approach are the same in that neither requires a proclamation of the Gospel or any effort or risk on behalf of pastoral minister.  Neither require any “work” on behalf of the pastoral minister - the work of accompaniment in which the minister, through a relationship, helps the person on the road to conversion.  The response of Jesus challenges the woman so that she is serious in expressing her desire for a relationship with Jesus.  “Yes, Lord, I really want this.  I’m not just saying the right word or shopping around to get what I want, but, even though I am not a Jew, I recognize you as the Messiah and my Lord.”  She is not merely asking for a favor, but expresses her desire in genuine worship and prayer.  She came and did Jesus homage, saying, “Lord, help me.”  She recognizes him as her “master” and wants to belong to his house, even if she is considered the lowest member of the household.  This is what she expresses with the comment about “even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters”  This is her expression of faith - her recognition that she belongs to Jesus and will be persistent in seeking that relationship.  The apparent obstacles she faces only increase her desire. 

          When we are meet people who come to the church seeking the sacraments - seeking healing and reconciliation - it is a disservice to just give them what they want when they want it (usually they want it right away) because in most cases they are away from the Church and don’t know deep down what they want and what they really need most - the relationship with Christ.  It is a also a disservice to just tell them the law and send them away because they cannot be converted on their own - they need friendship and accompaniment on the journey - the relationship with the church is necessary for their desire to be awakened fully and be clarified.  We as Jesus’ disciples are all called to be Christ’s instruments of mercy.  Mercy is not just giving people what they want.  Mercy requires the work of accompaniment and witness - something that is not easy - something that requires the gift of our selves.  It requires the sharing of life - witnessing to the truth in the way we live and relate to the other - proclaiming the truth in love and inviting the other to follow.  That is how we are truly welcoming and how the Church becomes a house of prayer for all peoples.