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6th Sunday of Easter (A) - How do you know you love somebody?

How do you know you love somebody?  How do we know we love Jesus?  Whether we are talking about a friend, a neighbor, a spouse, or a child, or our Lord,  we can answer that question and make a judgment by using the same criteria.  Jesus said to his disciples: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”  Here, Jesus links love with action - with works.  Love is made known in deeds.  Love can’t be reduced to words or feelings or it is not love.  When we examine the experience of “falling in love”, we know that it is not something that we make happen.  I can’t make myself fall in love with someone.  Or I can’t make someone fall in love with me.  (I can’t will it to happen).  Love is something that happens to me.  And I discover that I love someone when I notice that I’m freely doing charitable deeds for that person.  (I don’t decide or think, “I love this person, therefore I better do these things.”)  The presence of this person in my life moves me to give of myself and to make sacrifices for that person.  It doesn’t mean that I am always doing things that I would want to do or choose to do on my own, but I’m moved to do them because of the presence of the other that is perceived as a gift in my life.  We can think of a little sacrifice of a parent getting up in the middle of night to take care of a baby or a big sacrifice of a parent caring for a child with special needs or a husband or wife caring for their spouse who is infirm.  What they do may not be easy or something they would have chosen, but the action itself and the other person is not seen as a “burden”.   The new parents with the infant have probably never been that tired or exhausted in their life, but at the same time they have never experienced such joy.  The person caring for the disabled child or the sick spouse when asked about it often says something like, “I couldn’t imagine doing something different.”  It doesn’t even occur that not being with other is an option to consider.  They have to do what is called for, not because anyone is forcing them to do it or because it is seen as an obligation, but because they are responding to love.  When I ask the couple preparing for marriage, “How did you know that he was the one?  Or she was the one?”, it is common that they know they are meant to be together not because they never fight or that he buys her nice things and takes her to nice places but because he cared for her and stayed with her when it was difficult, when things were a mess, when she was at her worst.  When she was dealing with a big stress in her life like graduate school or the sickness or death of a parent, he stayed with her.  When she had nothing to give, he continued to give of himself in the relationship.  How do you know?  When I cannot imagine life without this person, and I’ll freely make any sacrifice necessary to stay with that person.  The disciples left everything  - sacrificed everything - to follow Jesus because they experienced in his presence an extraordinary love. 

          We see Jesus in our lives in this way - when we are moved to love in an extraordinary way - beyond what we thought was possible.  And when we are loved in a way that we don’t deserve.  Love is not something we understand by a description of actions or giving someone a list of tasks to complete.  Love cannot be reduced to a rule.  We know love through an event, a human encounter, a concrete experience that gives us new life.  Jesus promises another Advocate - the Holy Spirit which will make Jesus present in our lives.  The Holy Spirit is the way Jesus remains with us and dwells within us.  The world cannot see the Holy Spirit, “but you know him, because he remains with you, and will be in you.”  Jesus says to the disciples, “you will see me, because I live and you will live.”  None of this makes sense to the disciples until the outpouring of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.  When that happens, they are able to love as God loves and do what Jesus did because they are living in God and God is living in them.  As an analogy, it is the difference between hearing or reading a description of a good wine and then coming to taste the wine.  You really don’t know it is good until you taste it, until you experience it, until it is in you.  Then you know it is “good”.  One does not know love until it is in you.

          Philip proclaimed Christ to the Samaritans not simply by repeating the story of Jesus - telling what he had heard, but he is sharing his new life with them.  The crowds paid attention to what was said by Philip when they heard it and saw the signs he was doing.  The proclamation of the Gospel is not just in words but in deeds.  It is the words and deeds together that attract our attention - that speak to our heart.  Love is something that must be seen as well as heard.  Philip’s life made present the life of Jesus - he was doing what Jesus did.  The “signs” witness that Jesus remains with us.  Our joy is to be loved by God in this extraordinary way.  The Samaritans, we remember were hated by the Jews.  They were considered to be cut off from salvation because they intermarried with the pagans.  We recall too the episode when Jesus and the disciples were planning to travel through Samaria but the Samaritans didn’t welcome them.  James and John wanted to call down fire and brimstone to destroy them.  But through Philip, the word of salvation comes to them.  Christ’s presence comes to them.  They experience God’s mercy for them and are converted.  Jesus does not leave them “orphans”. 

          We cannot “keep the commandments” by our own power or strength.  If we try, they become burdensome, we get burned out and give up.  They can only be lived or kept as a response to God’s love for us - as a response to his presence in our life — his love that remains with us in the sacraments and though the love that we experience in our communion in the Church.  Jesus has given us a new commandment - the commandment to love.  What is “new” is that the commandment is not something that is imposed like a rule.  Rather, it is a life that wells up within us and is possible to live because He has loved us first - this love has first been given.  “This is my commandment: love one another as I love you” (Jn. 15:12)  As we prepare for the celebration of Pentecost a few Sundays from now, let’s ask to be open to the Holy Spirit and to recognize God’s love for us and his love with us, and ask him to come.  “Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful, and enkindle in them the fire of your love.  Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created, and you shall renew the face of the earth.”  We cannot make ourselves fall in love or recreate ourselves.  But when we allow ourselves to be moved by his love and love as he loves, tasting the “new wine” of his love, we will know that we love him.