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3rd Sunday of Easter

Every year I go on retreat Easter week - Easter Monday through Easter Friday.  The retreat always comes at a good time because after all the increased activity of Lent and the intensity of all the liturgies of Holy Week, I’m usually physically wiped out after Easter.   It is a time for much needed rest.  But this year, more than ever, I needed more than a physical recovery.  Because of the pandemic, I was unable to go on retreat last Easter - we were all in lock-down.  After more than a year of living what I’ve called a year-long Lent, what I really needed was an experience of the resurrection.  I need to see him alive.  I need to see him in the flesh.  The resurrection has to be something that I can “touch and see.”  Without that experience of the resurrection in my life here and now, all that we read in the scriptures seems like ancient history - irrelevant and disconnected from my life.  We don’t understand the scriptures.  “Resurrection” becomes a pious thought or a theological concept, and Jesus becomes just a name - a figure from the distant past.  For one of our evening gatherings, the retreat master asked us to share with each other what we discovered in the pandemic.  There were more than 40 priests on the retreat from all over the country.  I’ve known many of them for more than 10 years since I’ve been attending this retreat.  Priest after priest recounted the graces that they and their parishioners experienced during this time of pandemic.  One priest spoke about how devastated he was when he was no longer able to offer public Mass.  His attitude was, “we’ll offer what we can”.  He opened his church for adoration and confession and said that he heard more confessions in the last year than he did in the last 15 years of his priesthood combined.  He experienced among his parishioners this great hunger for God and the desire for confession - to be reconciled and to be prepared for death.  A college chaplain was “locked down” with his ministry team and discovered the pain and the beauty of living like a family - how the Lord was calling him to a deeper charity and changing him through the experience.  Another priest talked about how the slower pace of pandemic life, not having constantly to run from one thing to another, allowed him to relearn the fruitfulness that comes from being attentive to the person in front of him.  A pastor from Seattle who has a lot of millennials in his parish saw how impoverished his parishioners were for real community - a sense of belonging and how they came alive the more time he spent with them.  Another pastor spoke of wanting to use the time of the slow-down to reevaluate the needs of the parish and develop a strategic plan.  The anxiety he had that was generated by the pandemic made him see that it wasn’t the parish that needed work but himself.  It became a fruitful time for his personal growth when he was able to speak about his anxiety with others.  Without public Mass, another pastor spoke of how much he missed seeing his people.  He was live-streaming Masses - they could see him but he couldn’t see them.  So after Mass, he invited his parishioners to drive by for a blessing.  He was shocked by how many people came.  Each week his parish provided something - a candle, a holy water font, an altar cloth - for people to put in their home.  He saw the domestic church - the family church - growing through this time of pandemic.  This desire to see his people sparked a creativity and a fruitfulness that was surprising.  A bishop on the retreat spoke about dramatic it was to make the decision to close Masses.  He was moved by how many pastors tried to connect in new and novel ways with their communities.  Those who made efforts to reach out were very supported.  He saw a deeper awareness of the importance of parish life and how because of the pandemic people are much more intentional about coming to Mass.  He thinks that this experience has strengthened the church.  He sees the renewal as the parishes reopen. 

     These priests for me were witnesses of the resurrection.  They revealed how being faithful to their vocation in the midst of the cross generated new life in them and in their people that was not the product of their own planning or a program they were asked to implement.  Seeing new life, being surprised by the appearance of new life that is not the fruit of their own efforts, strengthened them in their mission and filled them with hope.  What changed them was an experience of mercy - seeing how God still wanted them, loved them, and was working through them despite all the human limitations of the pandemic.  This is what I needed to see.  They gave me not new ideas to take back to the parish but a new awareness of Christ’s mercy.  I saw new life in my friends which made me more certain of the resurrection and the presence of Christ and more eager to live that same way.  It was an experience of Christ’s mercy for me. 

     In the Gospel of the resurrection, Jesus appears to the disciples who were afraid.  Afraid not only of the future, but trapped in remorse because they had abandoned and denied Jesus.  They didn’t think they had anything good to offer - they think they are failures. They are startled and terrified when Jesus appears.  What would he think and say to them?  Jesus doesn’t condemn or demean them but puts them at peace - interiorly.  He doesn’t take away the challenges and problems they have to face but gives them the peace of heart to face those problems.  That peace comes when they know they are loved in their sinfulness.  That peace comes from accepting forgiveness, accepting the mercy of God.  Jesus shows them his hands and feet.  He wants them to “touch and see” the reality of his love for them.  All of our weaknesses have been accepted and borne by Christ, and he still loves us.  They can see that his love is stronger than death, stronger than our sins.  It is this experience of mercy that takes away their fear.  Seeing the risen Christ in the flesh is what opens their minds to understand the Scriptures - how everything is leading to the forgiveness of sins - their sins.  They have been given this experience so that they can preach in his name to all the nations.  “You are witnesses of these things.”  So when we hear Peter preaching in the reading from Acts, he is not preaching a word of condemnation, but a message of mercy.  He is preaching from the experience of someone who himself has denied the Lord and has been forgiven - who himself has experienced the resurrection through the mercy of Christ.  The resurrection is not an abstraction but something revealed in his own experience, his own person, his own life.  God’s mercy is a fact.  We are moved to repentance and conversion not through a condemning word but through the witness of someone who has experienced the resurrection - who communicates and makes visible the mercy of God. 

     We all need a “retreat”, but a retreat is not an escape from reality but a place where we can rediscover the reality of the resurrection -  where we can meet witnesses of the resurrection.  We need witnesses of the resurrection in order to face reality.  God wants to reach the whole world, but he does it through the expiation of our sins - individually.  We are forgiven and given new life so that we can be witnesses of his mercy to others.  We know the Lord through the experience of mercy.  May we recount to our brothers and sisters what has taken place in our lives that has made Jesus known to us on the way.  That is how we become witnesses of the resurrection.